Remember the time…

I recently sat down alone meditating with myself for a bit just to refresh on a whole lot of things and yes, I ended up drifting aimlessly within my memory vault, nostalgia brimming thinking of the times of yore. My yore rather. Back when I was busy flexing my literary skills in poetry. Yes, poetry. I used to write apparently. Must be cause…what was that name again? (Like it’d ever not cross my mind, let alone stop. Hehe) They evoked many ambitions in me, a lot of soul indeed. I always longed for some form of alignment. Always stayed grounded trying to plan it out. Letting it go ended up borning, a decent control structure for me then, even though it may have been deemed ‘short-term’ by any critic of sorts.
I used to write to inanimate objects most of the time until I got pushed at times to use initials instead, to ideally personify them. Of course, when random eyes perusing ever got a chance, would liken them to personal encounters with my cohorts. Libel-filled slander if you ask me. So I owned it, growing out spiritual contentment hand in hand with emotional comfortability and stimulated caution. An infusion of all that’s that, together with that of my seemingly self-sustainable (if not regenerative) persona, I was a bunch of undiscovered Ubermensch‘s, hehe. A bit of a handful actually, or so I thought. That was then, time and again. Now, that is, I still write…on and off. This time round though, I yearned to upload one for once.

So let’s write one, okay fine, let me write one to a certain individual somewhere around, distant from here, yondering about in the same causal timeline I’m presuming to be struggling to survive in…

Dear QY,

See, I used an initial instead of the usual because this way it’s more mysterious right? This letter will be different from the usual. Well, because you’ve been asking for it and I have been postponing writing it. Why? Well, like I said, I was waiting for inspiration and it finally came today. You won’t believe how fast I wrote this. I pondered wondering it would take hours of scribbling and writing again, and cancelling and head scratching, hair tugging?? I guess so too?? Hehe, needless to say it was all very anticlimactic. I wrote three pages, in pen, on paper then transferred them online. Silly me forgetting that we now live in the times of technology and I don’t have to sit down and round out my vowels so that my handwriting is legible. Crap, this introduction is getting long so I will skip right to the main part of the letter. Here’s a composition from me to you:

Here’s a damsel,

Ha! This is going to be about a damsel,

See she knew me

While I was slowly crawling out

Of the shell I had built.

A shell that kept me safe

From the toxicity around.

Here’s a damsel who knew me

Small, naïve, young

Deeply infatuated, sorely self-conscious.

Here’s a damsel who looked at all that

And said the silliest things

That made the most sense.

Here’s a damsel who never seemed to care

What anyone thought about her

As long as she was doing her

She seemed content

Possibly as lost as I am

As insecure, as confused

But still so damn sure of herself in the moment.

Here’s a damsel I need to apologise to

For many a number of things that night.

Here’s a damsel who deserves a lot more credit than I gave her that night.

Here’s a damsel who made my love for poetry grow

With every composition we exchanged.

Here’s a damsel who sang a song

That still makes me smile.

Here’s a damsel who tried to love a guy

Who was selfish and self-centred

Too wrapped up in his pain to care about anyone else’s.

Here’s a damsel who placed me up on a pedestal

Realised my countless flaws, took me down

And sat me right next to her as a friend.

Here’s a damsel who gave me the most memorable, romantic days in my short life

Here’s a guy who knows he didn’t deserve it then

But has come to appreciate it now.

Here’s a guy talking about a damsel

Who he hopes will always stick around

As his friend,

and he remains hers.


Well I’m presuming that’s all for now…

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